Where Lance Ulanoff Posts Nonsensical Bullshit About Apple to Elicit Links Like This One

February 6th, 2012

I rarely link to blatantly stupid articles about Apple, but this one from Lance Ulanoff is too transparent not to point out. Ulanoff writes (emphasis mine):

The last year or so has, at least on the hardware side, been nothing but a big, pregnant pause for Apple. I knew that Jobs’s death would have an impact, but I never feared Apple would be rudderless without him. Current Apple CEO Tim Cook is a good manager with a deep understanding of Apple, but I do not think he has Jobs’s innate vision.

I know all this will change in short order. Before his death, Jobs and his team laid the groundwork for a host of new products. Apple will unveil an iPad 3 as early as March. We could see the iPhone 5 in June. Then, perhaps, it’ll be business as usual for the wildly successful tech company (which now has a boatload of cash to spend—certainly enough to afford every single Super Bowl XLVI commercial). Whatever Apple introduces this spring, it will be the company’s first hardware introduction since Jobs’s death: in other words, a huge test for Apple and for Cook.

So, because Apple released the iPhone 4S—which merely has a dramatically better camera, Siri, and a much improved processor—Apple is “rudderless” without Jobs. Okay. Fine. Let’s leave that fish alone in the barrel.

But then, in the next paragraph, Ulanoff then states Jobs and his team laid the groundwork for a host of new products before he died. So let me get this straight, Ulanoff: the lack of “new” devices since Jobs’s death indicates that Apple is in trouble without him, yet Jobs also helped create a pipeline of new products to be released after his death.

Perhaps in his bizarro reality these two statements make sense together. Whatever the case, this is the garbage which passes as analysis on Mashable. Not that you needed an excuse not to ever read that site again, but here’s as good a reminder as any of why it’s a waste of time.